Why Don't They Set the Kitchen on Fire?

A couple weeks ago, I was eating at Garden Fresh, a small and undecorated vegan restaurant with an ever-present owner and all menu items prefixed with "Vegetarian". Late into my dinner in came a woman and a toddler, presumably mother and son. He was roughly two or three. She seemed youthful but had an odd raspy voice.

I love listening to kids babble on or sing songs consisting entirely of nonsense, so I had one ear pointed in this kid's direction. The first thing I remember him saying is "Why don't they set the kitchen on fire?"

I just about lost it. What kind of thought process would allow someone to arrive at such a query, rather immediately after entering the establishment? The mom's response, "Because they don't want to shut the place down and lose money." Among other reasons.

I don't remember the specifics of much else that was said by the kid, but it was all rather morbid and continued to center around the topic of burning down kitchens, and specifically people being in the fire. They were talking about people dying when the kid chimed in, "I love to watch people die." I'm not paraphrasing.

That was the end of the conversation. I bet the mom was happy about that. I think I just had a brush with America's Next Top Serial Killer.

And no, I haven't converted to Vegetarianism. The food is just that good. It's cheap, tastes great (though not at all like its meat counterparts), and like most Asian restaurants they pile it on, ensuring an extra meal out of it. I recommend the sweet and sour pork and the duck with ginger sauce. Oh god that duck is delicious. The sweet and sour pork kind of tastes like donuts. Drenched in sweet and sour sauce. But good. Of course, they garnish the massive plates of faux meat with even more fresh veggies. So check it out.